Self-doubt. Yep, that’s where I’m at in my National Novel
Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) journey. Or at least it’s where I was at this morning.
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| Escape from Writer Self-Doubt |
I’ve smoothed that away for now.
You see, I’ve been writing all month without worrying too
much about how it’s coming out; I think my writing is better than the last time
I participated in this crazy “competition.” I’ve been devouring writing craft
books like an addict.
I understand story structure better now (among other things).
A couple of weeks ago I had my daughter read what I’d written
and she approved. Since my book is YA, that made me happy. Last night though,
when I tried to explain the story to her and her friend, I couldn’t tell them
exactly where it’s going. Yes, even though I made an outline, it’s still coming
out pantser-style.
I also haven’t managed to narrow this story down to one
line. Yet.
After that moment of clarity, I distracted myself: I looked
at vegan fudge recipes; I had a tickle fight with my son and dog; I read one of
the many books in my stack, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell; I read another book
on craft, "Story Engineering" by Larry Brooks. Larry's books helped me a lot, by the way. I'm on my second read-through.
Still, I went to bed frustrated.
Then this morning during my trip to Trader Joe’s for pumpkin
fudge supplies, I came upon a car that had “ELF” on its license plate. This
wouldn’t normally stand out except this is the third time in two weeks I’ve
seen that word on a license plate (and not on the same car).
Seconds later, I saw “PAP” on another plate, which helped me
to understand: The character Elf (from the movie “Elf”) goes to New York City
to meet his dad; I felt safe in deciding it was my dad saying hello.
As soon as I’d made that conclusion, I came upon another car
that said, “New York Times Best Selling Author” on it. I kid you not. (And yes,
I did speed up to see who was driving that car. Ha ha!)
As I was flipping between fantasy that my dad was telling me
my book was going to be the next big hit--and self-doubt--another car pulled in
front of me with “NYT” on it.
So was all of this craziness a message from dad? I like to
think so.
Was he telling me my book is the next New York Times best seller?
Not necessarily. (Hey, I'm trying to be positive here!)
I believe it was a message for me to let my frustration
drive off into the distance so I can keep pecking away at the keyboard.
Whether it’s a best seller or not isn’t the point. This
NaNoWriMo process is teaching me about how to break through my frustrated-writer days and keep on going. It is also teaching me about how I function best as a
writer and how I can become better.
So How Can You Break through Self-Doubt?
- Compare yourself to nobody else.
- Write without editing.
- Come up with a general outline and then connect the dots,
filling in the spaces between the plot points.
- Focus on your word count.
- Find something to help you get “outside your head.” I listen
to a radio station I created on Pandora called “Liquid Mind.”
- Utilize prompts to break through moments of frustration. For
the month of November, follow @NaNoWordSprints on Twitter.
- Write with a buddy.
- In your non-writing time, read about the craft of writing or
read fiction and note what you think works or doesn’t work.
I hope and have faith that with increased knowledge, my days of self-doubt will grow
fewer in number. Ultimately, it will be the drive inside myself that will keep me going.
Write on!
Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? I would love to know how you've been doing all month and if you have any tips for writing through the month. Thank you!
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